In Fine Fettle
by Freya Isaacson
Summary: Blaine has distressing and incompatible emotions about his relationships with Kurt and Rachel. Post-BIOTA. Anderberry.


**I'm not sure how I feel about this one yet... It's possible that some sleep may encourage a continuation.**

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><p><em>Walk calmly, Blaine… Just put one foot in front of the other in a normal motion… Don't do anything that will bring attention to you. Don't even look back. Kurt can't see you like this.<em>

Blaine's expression dulled to a slight frown, his eyebrows sloping unhappily. He turned quickly from the path to the restrooms to the coffee shop's side exit. After admitting to Rachel that he was completely gay, Blaine couldn't help but worry over the lie he told. Somehow this kiss between them was plain and tame compared to the other night's, but the imprint left by her lips kept buzzing on his. The first kiss was decadently energizing, while the last one was wonderfully confusing. Streamlining his feelings, he's concluded that kissing Rachel "feels good." It's an odd kind of "good" but he couldn't deny it. For some reason being with Rachel simply makes him feel really good. His feelings only take a shady turn when he thinks about how Kurt feels. Blaine cares so much for him, like he hadn't for anyone else. His relationship with Kurt was definitely one to remember for a lifetime, but he couldn't shake Rachel from his mind. After his conversation with Kurt about bisexuality, the weight of his feelings was heavier with each breath.

After pacing back and forth a few times, he questioned how long he could stand out in the cold before Kurt and Rachel realized he hadn't returned.

"What am I going to do?" Blaine asked the brick wall, running his finger through the lines of the stained grey cement. "Why am I stroking you? Ugh why am I even talking to you?" He exclaimed as he pulled the door's handle. Shaking off the embarrassment of pushing instead of pulling the door, he grasped that he may have been gone too long when he noticed that Rachel was nowhere in sight. With a wobbly sigh of relief, he pulled up a chair next to Kurt.

"Hey, what took you so long? Oh, were you wiping her lip color off your lips?" questioned Kurt. Blaine brought his chilled fingers to his lips.

"Yes, yes that's exactly what I did. I don't think it was my shade," he replied in a flustered voice.

"Wow, she must have got you good." Kurt stated cheekily. "She's completely turned around on you, by the way. Apparently there's a profound pain in being a straight girl getting rejected by a gay guy," he spilled. That was not the reaction Blaine had in mind. Actually, there was no exact reaction in mind; however he was hoping that she would still be attached to him somehow.

"What's that face, Blaine? You have that gassy look that Finn has sometimes."

"It's just a little weird for me right now. You know, the concluding definition of sexual orientation? It makes you think."

"Oh no, not for me—once I knew, I knew. It just took a while for it to come full circle. Maybe in a little while Rachel's kiss will forever put you off the ladies!" Blaine dropped his stare from Kurt's to the table. Deciding that the action was too sharp, he followed his nose up to Kurt's eye level. He hoped to express a longing and wishful look upon first glance. He accepted its success when Kurt twitched his lips up to a smile.

There were so many conflicting thoughts in Blaine's notice. At one end of the spectrum, there's the desire to be with Kurt to make each other happy. This thought is a very bright spot, but adjacent to it, there is an obligation to live up to Kurt's adoration and almost worship towards him. Even though he never fought his idol-status, it bothered him a little that he, with all his flaws, was worthy of one's worship. Moreover, there was the heavy and wearisome blame of Kurt's biphobic rant that had him racking his brain. That was a blip on its own. On the other end, there's the hope for a boundless relationship with Rachel. Senses run constant when with her and it's difficult to ignore. Performing with her was extraordinarily enthralling, regardless of alcohol consumption.

_How could something so personal and emotional be cut so exactly? Is it wrong to feel like this? Am I just twisting a potentially great friendship into a forbidden romance? Wait, is "forbidden" the right term? Aw wait, is it even a romance? Oh, dear. I need to clear my brain._

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><p><strong>Constructive criticism is most appreciated! :D<strong>_  
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